Silver Wisdoms
Life Lessons Throughout 25 Years of Existence
Live Simply
We think of success as a life of luxury and lavishness. It is the picture that modern society has imposed upon our consciousness. We narrow our vision of a successful life by the abundance of properties we accumulate throughout our lifetime. This idea left us drooping on our ideals. We keep on running the race that others built for us. Extravagance comes from either social; realizing that for the person to be accepted by peers, one must conform to their ideals and constructs. Or personal; in which a person reckons luxury as the highest ideal there is. But the pleasure that these elements provide will soon wear off. It’s like a drug that allows us to experience momentary pleasure and leaves us anxious about wanting more.
Everything is temporary - your luxury, your possessions, your honor, your pride, your loved ones - do not cling to the idea of their permanence. Jealousy and envy are the product of a disturbed soul due to fear. We are creating a reality that doesn’t conform with our nature. We often take the opium of necessity; thinking that most of what we want is also what we need. Greed comes in many forms. We think of money, fame, and luxuries are the greatest assets we can ever have. But these things are on trial when faced with fortune.
“As we set ourselves free from prejudices and expectations of others, only then we will discover that life's true luxuries might comprise not more or less of simplicity, quiet, a friendship that is based on vulnerability, creativity without an audience, love without too much hope or despair, hot baths, dried fruits, walnuts and a little bit of dark chocolate.” -Alain de Botton
Never Lose the Kid in You
Children are like scientists; they have an inbuilt drive for discovery. When we were young, we were brave enough to take on challenges and things we’ve never done before. We ask questions without hesitation. We don’t give a damn what others might think of us. We dance uncontrollably, we sing our hearts out; we are creative and love what we do. If someone told you that you are very child-like - take that as a compliment.
What happened to us as an adult? In which stage did we lose this abundant curiosity and thirst for discovery? But it’s never too late. There will always be this little kid inside of us waiting to unveil itself at the right moment. You just need to let it out. Never lose the kid inside of you; that’s the best version of yourself you already have.
“The creative adult is the child who has survived” - Julian F. Fleron
Think for Yourself and Question Authority
No ideas and beliefs are true just because your parents or teachers say so. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not everyone is entitled to their own fact. There will always be specific areas in life in which we seem to hold ideas because that's how we were raised. Cultures and traditions fashioned our character and somehow labeled us as a person. But as an adult, it’s destructive to follow the herd without raising criticism. Question respectfully, not because you wanted to inflict such an idea on an individual, but you are looking for an evident foundation on why you should maintain an individual’s views.
“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth” - Albert Einstein
Have an Open Mind
It is ironic how people protest their ideas anchored on their freedom of speech. However, they tend to suppress and demonize those with opposing views. Their minds are plagued with bigotry and hatred. If we are living in a free country, our rights end where the rights of others begin. Providing a space in our mind for surfacing worldviews, beliefs, ideas, and innovations will provide us with a better grasp on the things we never thought would be. It begins with our zeal to search actively for evidence contrary to one’s favored beliefs, ideas, or motives. And to assess such proof fairly when it is available.
It is damaging for someone to adhere to the dictation of others. But one must open its mind to others’ opinions. Contemplating others’ opinions or considering their corrections won’t deny you free will.
Welcoming a foreign notion does not equate to accepting it. We need to hear views manifesting in our society. If it manifests, it’s real, and it is worth a conversation.
Avoid Too Much Vanity
Self-love is important. It is the first step of a grown-up in admitting the flaws and features accentuated by their insecurities. Despite this necessity of love, vanity sets us in a serious extreme of this form of self-love in which we see ourselves as standards for those surrounding us. And yet, this extreme might resemble to give us more appreciation for ourselves, where in fact, it is the complete opposite. A vanity is a pattern of insecurity based on others’ standards that you forcibly imply to yourself; thinking it would give you comfort and a feeling of acceptance from those who you established your standards. It is the product of your mind being untrained, responding to look for easy wins and abrupt solutions for accepting oneself.
Ask yourself; Is what I’m doing a matter of kindness or I would just like to make people like me? What am I trying to accomplish by doing this?
Recall that you can be proud without being vain. Excessive pride and admiration for one’s appearance and attainments are the paths to egotism, arrogance, and even narcissism. Learn that you are flawed in so many ways. Although setting one’s eye on greatness gives us a profound augmentation to be more confident, it’s also crucial to realize that such greatness overwhelms the ego.
“The ego is the enemy, not your friend. It is the ego that gives you wounds and hurts you. It is the ego that makes you violent, angry, jealous, and competitive. It is the ego that continuously comparing and feeling miserable.” -Rajneesh
Be Bold
Fortune favors the bold. The brave who’s ever-ready to take on risks and adventures in life. Fear exists for a reason. It’s part of our nature to be wary about things we don’t usually confront. But fear isn't reckoned to prevent us from challenging ourselves to do more and to be more. Fear hinders us from visualizing what’s truly happening; It deadens our judgment on opportunities to unfold.
The very reason why we miss so many opportunities is that we fear failure. Not discerning that failure is a vital component for success. We fear failure because we never aim for it. With boldness, it takes us closer to fortune. Fortune is not something you encounter. Fortune happens when opportunity meets preparedness. It is not all or nothing.
You Don’t Need to be Exceptional
Have you ever felt that you need to do something extraordinary just to deserve a place in the lives of others? We imagine that a quiet life is something that a failed person would desire. We can associate this way of thinking with the pressure that other people have put on us. We can no longer disassociate shame from being ordinary. For exceptionals, being average is an undesirable status and reflects idleness. Without realizing that the race they are in is off without a finish line. Later in the lives of the exceptionals, legacy withstands all other factors that they could have indulged within a short human life.
We often associate goodness with always being at the center, at the highest heights, the summit of careers, and standing on stage. They labor on things primarily not because they love the things they do, but because they are chained to social pressure weighing them down. It’s okay to do great things, just make sure you are doing it for yourself.
Ask yourself; Do you want to be exceptional? Or do you want to have a life?
Be Tolerant with Others and Strict to Yourself
Sometimes, it is quite impossible not to vent out justified anger. We need to accept the fact that people are fools, disappointing, liars, jerks, stupid, unreliable, or anything else. Let it be. That’s their business. That’s not under your control.
You need to focus on self-discipline, your thoughts, and your actions towards these uncontrollable events. Tolerance sounds absurd, and it is actually absurd under the condition of extremes. But Tolerance in moderation has given people the opportunity to make personal mistakes, fruitful realizations, and risky accomplishments. It is in the very same tolerance in which we give ourselves more time to focus on our ideals, emotions, decisions, ideas, and actions. Tolerance allows people to exercise their right to speak, share ideas, construct criticism, provide evaluation, examine beliefs, test hypotheses, and contribute to the dialogue of humanity.
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius
Remember; You Could be Wrong
If there’s one thing you need to evade to live nobly and reasonably, it is to place it in your mind that you could be wrong.
Beliefs, on the matter of religions, ideas, opinions, and even reason, have the possibility of falsehood. Fanaticism, especially religious extremism, has caused nothing but hatred, violence, and close-mindedness throughout human history. Political fanaticism has led friends and families into chaos and hostility just because one side thinks he is right. This is strong evidence that humans hunger for domination once they stick their pride and principles on things they never thought might be wrong.
Keep in mind, that the reason we debate, talk, and engage in colloquy, is not to forcefully imply the truthness of our beliefs, but to test and criticize opposing ideas to make us one step closer to the truth. Our pride seems to be beaten whenever we are proven wrong; to the point that we will keep insisting on every reason despite utter nonsense. Accepting that we are wrong gives us pride with the new knowledge we have and further uses it to improve our opinion. Learn to accept criticism and stop being sensitive. If you are always right, there is something wrong.
"You have to be open to the idea that your beliefs might be false - because that's the only way that holding onto them can really mean anything." - Hank Green
Obstacle is Opportunity
People are afraid of challenges because they fear losing. But some see obstacles as the opportunity to learn new knowledge, experience events, acquire wisdom, and explore their capabilities as a result of either success or failure. The more we endure, the more we improve. Do not look for a path without challenges, for this will not move you any further. Instead, when faced with such hindrances, be grateful. This will make victory sweeter, and failure worth it.
It’s all a matter of perspective. The way we entertain such events in life dictates the way we see the world and life in general. Obstacles are certain, their intensity is uncertain, that’s what makes it exciting.
Look for the Right Mentors
Some of us may have lots of friends, some of us have few. We may be lucky if this set of friends we have is encouraging us to become better every day. Stay away from those leading you towards self-destruction. However, we must never confuse our friends with our mentors.
Friends are easy to find. But mentors, very rare. Plenty of mentors scattered around you will always have something to say, but few will touch your heart. A great mentor will provide you with enlightening insights to envisage the just cause in which your career will be founded. A great mentor will provide you with wisdom from their experiences to guide you with your journey in life. Find the right mentors.
Practice Makes Permanence
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence was never a result of one decision, but a succession of good and right action. Practice does not make something perfect, but it contributes to its permanence, whether it is a good thing or a bad thing. Make right and good action a habit.
It takes 21 days to form a habit. But what about it? How is forming a habit will bring us closer to excellence? Look around you, people after people, achieving great feats effortlessly. It’s not always about fortune, it’s about their habits. They just happen to bear the fruit of the seed they planted a long time ago. If you want to be prepared, form a habit; It can be reading a few chapters of a book a day, running a few miles every morning, learning random stuff before you sleep, working on your computer proficiency, or whatever you think will advance you further personally or professionally.
To start a habit needs commitment and discipline. But to start forming it takes courage to answer the question; are you willing to change? Good habits make success possible. Without it, fortune might not come along your way.
Stay Composed
An instant character test for a well-changed person is when they encounter disturbances and catch them off-guard. It will show the person’s true character. On how they will deal with things with overflowing anger, disappointment, and pressure. Big or small, it will surely be an effective test. If those difficulties happen to you, consider that as an opportunity to maximize your well-being. That is your training ground.
We should be very careful about the message we convey. Words cannot be unsaid. Words are one of the most powerful tools we humans have invented. It can create potential, and it can also destroy dreams. Words can inspire, words can heal, but they can also cause pain and destruction. What is the point of being angry at someone who couldn’t behave properly? It feels good to bestow anger when we are right. But is it really necessary? Most of the time, we judge too quickly. We don’t even stop for a second thought. We are letting our emotions take the driver’s seat. We don’t even ask ourselves; How do I make this situation better?
You can premeditate on horrible things that might come your way. Not to seem entirely pessimistic, but it gives you insight into disappointments. And by the time it really did cross your path, it won’t be a surprise anymore. Lower your expectations on what might come your way. Things don’t usually go as planned. Expect life’s nature; failure, betrayal, illness, mediocrity, stupidity, conflict, problems, and even death. With this, we will be able to maintain composure and control of ourselves. You can always take time to react.
Assess Yourself; Write for Yourself
From time to time, we need constant observations of ourselves. With this exercise, we will be able to look closer at the things we are doing every day. Seneca describes a beneficial exercise he borrowed from another prominent philosopher. He wants us to ask ourselves;
At the end of the day;
- What bad habit did I curb today?
- How am I better than yesterday?
- Were my actions just?
- How can I improve?
These are the guide questions that we can use to evaluate ourselves deeply with crystal clear glass, free from bias and prejudices of pride. Review your day by journaling. Write down all the things you wanted to say to yourself and the lessons you need for constant reminding. Look at writing as a form of therapy. A kind of therapy that provides you with an honest review and advice to yourself.
“Write books only if you are going to say in them the things you would never dare confide to anyone.” ― Emil Cioran
Check Your Privilege
When mentoring someone, or giving advice, or even having a casual conversation with someone - provide them an assessment of privilege. Do not compare the path you have taken to theirs. Some of us might have the efficient tools to advance our status and aid us to accomplish great heights. But there are others - no option but to start from scratch with connections, knowledge, and tools to achieve their goals.
Our judgment must be accompanied by this pre-assessment. Give people the benefit of the doubt. This will make our society more accomodating and considerate. Given that life is already hard, let’s not make it harder for them.
Be Present
You only have the “now”. No amount of anxiety will ever provide you with absolute insights about the future, you only have the “now.” No amount of regrets will ever change the past, you only have the “now.” Enough wasting your time consoling the past and the present. Be present. Let tomorrow manifests itself, deal with it tomorrow since you can’t change it now. Come what may. Accept what had happened in the past, you can’t change it because you only exist now.
Do you want to start a habit? Do it now. Lose weight. Start a healthy diet. Instead of saying “I’ll do it tomorrow, do it right away.” It’s absurd how people draft their resolutions and wait for the new year to start. If that resolution is of much importance to you, why wait next year if you can do it right away?
Be Yourself
In the modern world, pressures are everywhere. We keep discouraging ourselves every time we fail to satisfy the demands of society. Look anywhere you want, this is what’s happening. We are becoming a people pleaser. Instead of living your life the way you want it to be, people around you decide how your life should be lived.
We always concern ourselves with what other people think about us. We bother and frustrate ourselves about these external pressures. Ironically, most of the time - their opinions are saying a lot of things about them than about the person it is supposed to be about.
Every decision we inflict upon our lives constitutes our values. Things which we see as more valuable than otherwise. It is always authentic. Be genuine. Be true. Life is too short for these social niceties unfit and hinders authenticity. Because sometimes, we are discouraged to do the stuff we love just because someone finds it weird or makes fun of it. We care more about the opinion of others than of our own. If there’s something to learn from people with autism, it is that they are very true to themselves and others.
Know Yourself
Our parents played a crucial role in giving us a vision of what we can be. The opinion of our parents in which we lived the entirety of our childhood is the same opinion which we cherish and nourish as an adult. But not all of us have the same parents. Some of us grew up with parents who tend to be empathetic with our failures and rewarding with our progress. Some of us grew up with parents who were constantly enraged by our mistakes, and always wanted more with our accomplishments.
But as an adult, you need to ask yourself; Who are you? What are you? Have you ever given yourself time to know who you really are? Knowing yourself gives you the power to withstand the harsh opinion of others about us. Knowing yourself provides a stronger mindset realizing that despite all horrible things people say unto us, we are certain of the abilities, talents, wisdom, intelligence, and values located inside of us.
There is No Meaning
Look around you. Ugliness and beauty, war and peace, hunger and prosperity, disease and health, poverty and wealth, life and death. What meaning does it have? What message is it trying to say? Is there really a reason for everything? Clearly none. A flawed world implies a flawed creator. This bitter truth has led humanity into constructing meaning from beliefs, shaped by cultures, which produced practices and traditions. This hammered meaning has been continuously fed into the minds of their followers for generations that later becomes the fundamental truth. Life is full of meaning.
Then there’s me, looking at the vast cosmos, thinking how insignificant we are. Our celebrated habitat is nothing but a speck of dust in the vast universe. We are nothing compared to its unimaginable measure. Out timeline is insignificant. It sounds pessimistic, but really it’s not. Our accomplishments are nothing when our species reached the end.
I find comfort in the meaningless of life. By this realization, I am no longer a prisoner of society, bound by its demand and constructs. I am no longer a self-worshiping being who curbs self-importance and thinks of himself as a species that is at the top of the food chain. I am no longer bound by the legacy and honor I must leave.
“Life is meaningless, but worth living, provided you recognize it’s meaningless.” - Albert Camus
“The only absolute knowledge attainable by man is that life is meaningless.” -Leo Tolstoy
Suicide
Many see suicide as an option because indeed it is. What importance lies beyond your life but life itself? The question is not “Should you kill yourself or not,” but “Is the reason you are doing this worth your life?” Suicide is the cornerstone of humanity’s freedom. We did not choose to be born, we did not choose to die, but we can choose to die early.
The thought of suicide arises from various situations. Mostly, from depression. The thought of suicide should not be viewed as something horrible. If it manifests in the real world, it is real, and it is part of life. But before one proceeds in doing such an act, A philosopher named Emil Cioran wants us to ask ourselves; Can you kill yourself tomorrow? How about next week? Next month? Next year. If you have the freedom to do this anytime, what’s the rush?
“It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.” “Only optimists commit suicide, optimists who no longer succeed at being optimists. The others, having no reason to live, why would they have any to die?” ― Emil Cioran
Amor Fati
It is what it is. Fate has nothing to do with it. Whatever circumstances life has brought upon your doorstep, it is what it is. It’s not fate or destiny. Decline relies on such a concept that everything happens for a reason. It is fallacious and self-defeating. It is what it is. Let that anything happens to you be neutral without any preconceived reason. These events are neither good nor bad. It is our evaluation that makes these events beautiful or wicked.
Once you realize such a concept. Composure will envelop every predicament confronted by an undisturbed mind. You will direct your strength on acknowledging these episodes outside your control reasonably.
Memento Mori
You’re gonna die. No matter what, you’re gonna die. You might not know when, where, and how, but certainly, you will die. The idea of death has smeared our boldness to maximize our potential in life. Humanity’s fear of the unknown steers to the invention of notions of the afterlife. Vital indication of humanity’s ego assembled throughout eras of hegemony. We fear death because we only know life.
If you’ll be able to live forever, would you? It certainly is an attractive concept, but the concept of eternal life obscures our sense of urgency - to accomplish great feats for ourselves, to spend time with the ones we truly love, to make better choices that will mold our legacy, and make a noteworthy impact. Because if we are to live forever, why wake up early? Why do things now if you’ll always have tomorrow? Meditating our mortality gives us a glimpse of what matters the most. It provides us the wisdom of how we must live the life we want in a very limited and uncertain time we have. “You are gonna die”- let that be in our mind whenever we face choices.
Live every day as if it’s going to be your last. Do you want to appreciate someone? Tell them you love them. Do you have unfinished business? Do it now!
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