Why Am I an Unbeliever

My personal reasons why I don't believe anymore.

Image courtesy of Jeff Walton

by Ronald Michael Quijano, LPT

I was baptized as a catholic when I was a few months old. This is the path that most children will take and will largely shape their worldview - Imagine deciding things for someone without even asking their consent if they wanted to become a Catholic or, a Muslim, or a Hindu, then the option is given too late when there's too much social pressure in you and will eventually end up swallowing their doctrines - just like how Iglesia ni Cristo control their member's indoctrination. I was raised in a set of traditions that Catholicism constantly practice - confession, confirmation, communion, etc. The bells that chant simultaneously create illusory depths in my ears, the choir that astonishes me with harmony, the beautiful paintings, and the sculptures that surround the church are overflowing with the artist's inspiration and faith. At first, it was easy for me to accept such traditions, the eating of crackers, the rituals during a mass, the worshipping of idols, the sign of the cross, and many more. These events slipped inside me with ease since my family is very religious. My mom is a volunteer in our local parish, and most of my family members - even extended family members are a devotee of whatever saint they tend to seek help for. There was this time that I was invited by my high school best friend to a Christian worship service and experienced a new way of praising God, they sang while their eyes are closed. I saw some of them crying and I manage to assume that they are feeling the presence of the lord. I tried it and surprisingly, I also cried, but not because I feel the presence of the lord but because I feel relieved when the pastor keeps repeating that there's someone up there constantly watching over us, and forgives us all the time because he loved us he will never want or let anything bad happen to us. The immensity of security and comfort overwhelmed me, however religious I tried to be, it's just that faith doesn't work on me. My education also contributes a lot to me slowly becoming an unbeliever. The academic field taught me to always raise a question and live a life full of curiosity and I think I can argue that if there is anything in the world that shaped me the way I think, evaluate, and criticize, it was science and philosophy. 

This is a personal essay, part 1 of many, and I wrote this not to promote my way of thinking but to help the people around me, especially my loved ones to understand where I am coming from, and not judge me and hate me as if I have a disease.

1. I have read the Bible.

Yes, I did. Moreover, there is this saying that the fastest way to become an unbeliever is to read the bible - and I have to disagree because it took me millennia to finish such a violent, cruel, contradicting, hilarious, and boring read. Now, I need to point out what I think is one of the common mistakes of those who read the bible - and it's that they never investigate its background - because they are too busy to make themselves feel special but have no time to question things that influence largely the society they are living with. The formula of faith is one cup of a desire for comfort, 3 tablespoons of wishes, and a bucket load of ignorance. So, what is with the bible that led me to become an unbeliever? First, there is too much contradiction to comprehend. I mean, if the bible is the word of god, then it should be telling us the same thing, right? I will give a short example for you to understand. 

a. How long does Yahweh's anger last?

Micah 7:18

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.

Jeremiah 17:4

Through your own fault, you will lose the inheritance I gave you. I will enslave you to your enemies in a land you do not know, for you have kindled my anger, and it will burn forever."

b. Can salvation be attained by works?

Galatians 2:16

"know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ."

Matthew 19:17

"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments."

Romans 3:28

"For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law."

James 2:24

"You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone."

c. According to Genesis, were humans created before the animals?

Genesis 2 18:19

"Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.

Genesis 1 25:27

"God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.

Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

d. In the Old Testament law; are children be punished for the sins of their parents?

Deuteronomy 24:16

"Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin."

Deuteronomy 5:9

"You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,"

e. Does Yahweh get tired and weary?

Isiah 1:14

"Your New Moon feasts and your appointed festivals I hate with all my being. They have become a burden to me; I am weary of bearing them."

Isiah 43:24

"You have not bought any fragrant calamus for me, or lavished on me the fat of your sacrifices. But you have burdened me with your sins and wearied me with your offenses."

Isiah 40:28

Do you not know? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

f. When the women arrived at Jesus' tomb, was it already open or not?

Matthew 28:1-2

"After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it."

Luke 24:1 -2

"Now on the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they, and certain other women with them came to the tomb bringing the spices which they had prepared. But they found the stone rolled away from the tomb."

Okay, so these are just 6 of many bible contradictions, and you might be wondering, what do these contradictions have to do with faith? Imagine how many religions are there that were extracted from the bible, how often their misunderstandings are, how confident they are that they are the one true church, and the others will be punished and tormented by the infinite pain in hell. And these are not just the reasons. The very foundation of Christianity which happens to be the canonical gospels, the assigned names are not the author of those books. Believers are very confident that these gospels are historically accurate and their credibility is trustworthy since they view these as the actual words of Jesus Christ. However, it has a lot of loopholes. For us to really consider the bible as a historical fact, what kind of evidence do historians are really looking for?

a. Contemporary accounts, wherein accounts probably written the next day or two after the event has happened.

b. Lots of accounts about the event. But if a lot of accounts are referring only to the same person who told them the stories, you only have one actually.

c. It should be independent of one another.

d. It should be consistent with one another.

e. Accounts should be unbias on the subject matter.

Now, what kind of evidence do we have in the gospels that account for the resurrection of Jesus? Are they the kind of sources that historians would want to establish what probably happened in the past? No.

a. When was the gospel was written?

They are not contemporary in the event they are trying to narrate. By far the most common dating is that the gospel of Mark was written around 65-70 AD, Luke, Matthew, and John probably 80-85 AD. Jesus' accounts of the resurrection are decades after the event. Paul wrote about the resurrection 20 years after the event. The original books are all anonymously written by an unknown and third-person, and that's a fact. Jesus' followers are "Aramaic-speaking" peasants of Galilee. Lower-class men who are not educated. In fact, Peter and John, in Acts 4:13 are literally said to be illiterate. Their native language is Aramaic, while these books are written in Greek, by highly educated, rhetorically-trained writers who are skilled in Greek composition, who are probably not disciples and do not claim to be disciples.

b. If they are not the disciples, where did these authors get their stories from?

They must have heard the stories from somebody, who heard the stories from somebody, who heard the stories from somebody. The stories about Jesus have been in circulation, year after year after year. The stories got modified in the process of transmission since Christians were converting people and nee to convince people. These stories are based on oral reports that have been circulating for decades. What happens to oral reports circulating years after years? Decades after decades? They got changed.

to continue. . .