The Toyo Romantics

Romanticizing Choleric Temperament

(Not Much Between Its Ears part 2)

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Image courtesy of Alamy

by Ronald Michael Quijano

Toyo - not the typical condiment you have in mind. I am not referring to soy sauce, rather the term that we - Pinoy - are using pertaining to being hot-tempered, moody, or being capricious. This is the term most likely you will see on Facebook nowadays, people posting about how toyoin they are. You know social media, as long as the subject trends, all users are seemingly required to be part of it. 

From Ice Bucket Challenge to Hot Water Challenge, from Harlem Shake to Tala Dance Cover, from hating pineapple in a pizza to sudden Lumpiang Shanghai fever, - you name it - you are just crowd surfing. It's as if your life would not be complete, or your personhood would not be whole without you participating in trends. I wonder why there is no Symposium Challenge, Live Stream Debates, Read As Much Books As You Can In a Month Challenge, Math Challenge, or likes that have ever trend on Facebook. Ever wonder why do videos of Ivana Alawi has more views than Ted Talk videos uploaded on Facebook or Youtube? Why do people spend more time learning the Catriona dance or Tala dance but have no time reading a book? Why do people need to post what will happen to their 2020 if they can just live with it? Or why gaming Facebook page has more followers than some educational page? I think maybe because most netizens are more focused and concern about desire satisfaction than mind cultivation, or that their minds are incapable of comprehending the latter, end up sticking to just what their minds are able to process. You cannot blame vloggers who will give you shitty content because really, you love them, do you?

Practice makes permanence - What we usually do in practice will be part of our practice from time to time. If you play mobile games from time to time, that will become part of your daily practice. If you happen to practice waking up late, that will be the case every morning. The same goes for athletes who practice their routines, the movements become permanent to them. If you are a content creator who tends to use sexual content in your videos, that will become permanent to you. You often use recreational drugs, permanence. You drink alcohol more often, permanence. Smoking cigarettes, permanence. You are always toyoin because in social media says it is fun and cool, permanence. Among all the things in the world that could do you any better and improve your character, seriously, you are more interested in being toyoin? I don't think it would be helpful for our society to normalize such corrupting behavior. You ever wonder how romanticism can damage a relationship? In Social media, Romantics tend to normalize and condition us by thinking that; if you really love someone, you should accept their flaws and imperfections and love them as they are. It is lovely in the short term, but damaging in the long term. You need to acquire the capacity to explain to your partner why you were upset. You do not expect everyone to be a mind reader. Yes, sometimes, they can see what's bothering you without saying anything, but that doesn't mean that love is supposed to be wordless. Don't get mad when your partner is educating you. They love you if they want you to grow intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually together. Most of Romantics in social media are full of immaturity. 

All the trends, concepts, and ideas on social media seem to affects us in so many ways. It is becoming part of our life. We rely on how everybody is living theirs, we end up living theirs instead of ours. You do not want to ride any bandwagon you see on social media. There are lots of better things you can do than that. Every time you are doing something, ask yourself; Is what am I doing getting me closer to what I want to become? Is this happiness? Is this the thing that I want everyone to be doing? How is this giving me growth? Is this a good thing for other people? Is this worth our focus? Not so often, we ask these questions to ourselves. Our minds are not even equipped with the things that will help us to decide reasonably. But, really, why do you need to go where everyone else is going? Why need to be toyoin if you can be mature enough to focus on different things that will cultivate yourself holistically? You are being like that because social media says so. Because everyone is talking about it and you don't want your enormous ego to be left behind or to miss out anything. You are struggling your way up to the crowd. You are doing everything just to gain attention. You want them to envy you, to praise you, to look at you as if you are living a happy life which you do not. Not all practice is worth practicing. Riding the mob, gaining fame, starving for likes is not a thing, it is a diagnosis. 

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